The Guilt He Can Live With
by PayShaFan
Summary: There's guilt he can live with and there's guilt he can't. Almost shooting a kid is something he can't. Accepting comfort from her is something he can. JED. WARNING: Contains cheating.


**AN: Post Scorpio. WARNING: Contains cheating.**

* * *

"Greg, I told you, I'm fine." Ed said not looking up from the sink.

"Not Greg." Jules said softly, looking the door and coming up behind him.

"Sorry." Ed said, turning to face her.

"Don't be. I came to check that you were alright. And don't say 'I'm fine.'" Jules said coming to stand in front of him.

"Jules…" Ed sighed, grabbing her hips with both hands and pulling her closer gently. He let his eyes fall closed and his forehead lean against hers. He kissed her once, then twice chastely.

"We said we wouldn't do this again." Jules whispered but didn't pull away.

"Do you want me to stop?" Ed whispered back, kissing her again.

"No." With that Ed spun them and shoved her back against the sink roughly, claiming her mouth in a mixture of teeth, tongue, and rough lips. Jules gripped his shirt in one hand and let the other wrap around his shoulder.

He pealed her cardigan off and lifted her tank top over her head. He gripped her thighs and lifted her onto the sink edge, trailing kisses, sharp nips, and bites along her neck and shoulders. Jules dragged his shirt over his head and worked the button on his jeans. A sharp knock on the door interrupted them and the two sat in shock, panting, for a moment.

"Occupied." Ed called when he knew he wouldn't sound breathless. The two heard steps fading away but the spell was broken. Ed pressed small, gentle kisses to her shoulders.

"I should go." Jules said softly, running her fingers across the back of his head.

"Invite me over." Ed said desperately between kisses.

"We shouldn't…" Jules said but tilted her head back against the mirror to give him better access.

"Please." Ed whispered brokenly.

"After Wordy leaves we can make our excuses." Jules said giving in. It was common knowledge that Wordy was always the first to leave and the party tended to either wind down or get crazy after that, depending on the night.

"Thank you." Ed pressed one last, long kiss to shoulder before helping her off the counter. They grabbed their clothes, adjusted themselves, and Ed waited a few minutes after Jules left to make his way out of the bathroom.

Almost an hour later Wordy made his excuses and offered Ed a ride home.

"If you want to stay a bit longer I can give you a ride back." Jules offered.

"Thanks, Jules. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah, buddy?" Ed half stated, half asked Wordy.

"Yeah, see you tomorrow." Wordy clasped him on the back and said his goodbyes to the rest of the team. Jules and Ed waited another half hour before making their excuses and leaving as well. The two SRU officers drove in silence until Jules pulled the jeep into her driveway.

"Come in?" She asked and Ed sighed in relief.

"Yes, please." He said. They walked through the yard and up the stairs. Jules unlocked the door and they kicked their shoes off by the door. They stared at each other. Jules walked up to him and slowly started to unbutton his shirt.

"Come upstairs with me." She whispered against his lips. They left a trail of clothes through the entry way, up the stairs, and down the hall. Jules led him to the bed and slowly removed the last barriers between them. "There's condoms in the bedside table."

The two slowly made love and as they came down from the aftershocks Jules felt Ed shudder and a damp spot grow on her shoulder where his face was buried.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He chanted. Jules clutched him close and ran her fingers along his back soothingly. She felt her eyes grow damp as well but only held him tighter. There were no words to make this better. Nothing that could take away the pain. So she didn't try. There were no useless words or promises, only her holding him close.

Eventually they parted. They retraced their steps and put on their clothes. They walked to the car hand in hand and tried not to think about where they were driving to. Returning him home to his wife and child. Letting them think that his guilt was due only to the death of man and not a combination of his job and the bed of another woman, his teammate.

Ed closed his living room door and almost immediately was faced with his son. The guilt weighed even heavier, yet at the same time he felt freer and less burdened than he had just a few hours ago. This was a guilt he could live with.

As he lay next to his wife that night he wondered how another woman was sleeping on the other side of town.


End file.
